19 July 2011

more of the same

I sincerely apologize for the lack of posts recently. It really all boils down to the fact that I have nothing exciting to talk about... and by saying that, I'm not trying to throw myself a pity party. Sometimes, no news is good news. I'm sure you've heard that saying. And, it's true. The everyday, normal days are the ones I cherish the most.

I will admit that it gets to be frustrating sitting around the house, day in and day out, waiting for this job to come through for me. I really hope I am not putting "all of my eggs in one basket" only for it to fall through in the end. I honestly don't think that will happen... because at this point... I am merely waiting for the security clearance to be completed. I have already passed the company's background, credit, and drug checks. I have even been fingerprinted for the position! It is merely a waiting game now. Which sucks... I completed all of the security clearance paperwork and had the finger printing done last Friday. I e-mailed HR today to find out when I could expect to hear something & they said 2-3 weeks! That was very frustrating to hear because I honestly don't know how I can survive without a job for another 2-3 weeks.

I have been beyond bummed at this point for requiring my parents help. I AM thankful that my parents are more than willing and able to do so... but at the same time, I cannot help but feel like such a waste and a 30 year old bum! Thanks again, Coastal Carolina! I have been applying for other positions though. Some days... I feel the urge to get out there and apply for some serving positions, just to make some quick money. And, some days I feel guilty that I haven't done that yet. But in all honesty, I have many friends who are servers... and this time of year in Myrtle Beach is a time when you would expect them to make BANK... but they are barely getting by right now. So, I'm not sure if it would even be worth it to start a serving job right now... if I only have a few more weeks to wait. Maybe I am merely making excuses for myself. But, what is 2-3 more weeks when I've been unemployed for nearly two months, right?

Some good news for my family... my parents are in the process of purchasing a new home! They currently live in a third floor condo (with no elevator), a block from the ocean. But, my dad is getting older and some arthritis is starting to set in around his knees. They felt it was probably a good idea to purchase a home now, rather than later. It's really a beautiful home... with hardwood floors throughout and marble counter tops in the kitchen. Plus, it has a huge backyard for their new puppy (a Boykin Spaniel named Vannah)! Even though this is good news for my parents, it is also great news for me. They decided they were leaving me the condo! They actually decided a while back (since my brother already has a beautiful home in Columbia, where he lives now) but it only started to sink in with me when I knew they were buying the new house. The condo is paid for and I will only have to pay the HOA fee when I move in... which probably won't be for a while because I have a year lease on my apartment... which doesn't end until Feb 2012. But, it is reassuring to know that I will have some place to call my own when I move out of here. I already get so excited when I think of all the ways I want to redecorate... AND when I think about the fact that I will be living a block from the ocean!

My Parents' Dog, Vannah

My mom is still doing much better but she has been really restless lately. She even went to the ER the other night because she was so anxious. That really worried me. They gave her some Xanax, which really seemed to work. She also went to her new doctor (her previous doctor went back to school for research) and he was able to change up some of her meds because he felt that was causing the restlessness. I hope the change will help out a lot. It already seems to be helping some.

(This next part gets very detailed and technical and boring about my tooth, so I would not blame you if you stopped here.)

The never ending saga that is my tooth is still making headlines. I swear... I have simply given up hope that it will ever be the same at this point. I never say anything about it anymore because I know my friends & family are sick of hearing about it and probably think I am overreacting. I honestly make it through the day by taking Ibuprofen or Tylenol every 4-6 hours... I alternate. I still feel as if my bite is off but refuse to go back to the dentist. I think I went back, for readjustments, a total of three times after he filled it. Actually, it may have been four. I know the people who work in that office think I'm crazy, and sometimes, I wonder that myself. During the last trip, the dentist reassured me that the filling was not too high and said that my actual tooth was hitting the bottom one. He even reshaped the actual tooth some. But, if it is the tooth hitting, why didn't I notice it before I had the root canal done or why would it just be hitting now? I have read everything there is to read on the internet about root canals, malocclusion, TMJ disorders, and the like. It is very, very frustrating.

Like I said, I may be crazy or I may be letting the hypochondriac in me get the best of me... but if this is all in my head... my head is pretty good at making me miserable. It definitely feels like my left teeth hit before the right teeth do (when I bite). And, I don't think he polished the tooth he reshaped well enough because it feels jagged and makes my tongue irritated when I talk... or especially when I sing in the car. This results in a very sore tongue by the end of the day. I also feel a lot of pressure on my upper left molars when I bite, and therefore, do not chew on that side of my mouth. Actually, I have not chewed on that side of my mouth since the root canal... which was almost been 3 months ago.

Here is what I think is the problem (because I am awesome at self-diagnosis): After the root canal, he filled the tooth (my very back molar #15). While filling the tooth, he noticed that the molar lying next to it (#14) had some decay on it, as well. He said it was in the same spot where the cavity was on the other molar. So, he drilled and filled that too. This is the filling that was filled too high. Because of the location of the cavity, almost on the side where the two molars meet, the filling in this tooth is what I would describe as crowded and putting pressure on the back molar (almost like if you shoved a bunch of floss in between two of your teeth). For this reason, I feel the tooth may have shifted some to make room for the filling & in return, has resulted in my bite being off. This is the tooth that the dentist reshaped and failed to polish sufficiently. Because the tooth has shifted some, the rough edge of the tooth is scraping across my tongue when I talk. All of that would account for the pressure I feel and my bite being off. Now, if it is even possible for a filling to shift your teeth (especially in a short time frame) is beyond me. If I were to give this explanation to a dentist, I am sure he would laugh in my face. If there is one thing I've learned from this experience, it is that dentists do not like to admit when they have made a mistake or overlooked something. I don't know if they fear a malpractice suit surfacing or what the problem is... but at this point in time, I do not feel anything will be resolved if I were to visit his office again OR if it even can be resolved. I mean, what do you suppose the dentist would need to do in order to fix the problem? Extract a tooth to make more room for the tooth that may have shifted? I haven't the slightest idea and I am terrified to go back and have more dental work done. I feel like every time I step foot in that office, I leave with more problems than I had when I went in there. He is a very well-respected dentist and I have heard nothing but wonderful things about him from everyone I know who goes to him. His office even won the "Best of the Beach" award, which is voted on by locals in the area. Why am I the only one who seems to have had complications after seeing him?

My previous dentist is amazing but is located in Dillon. It is only a short drive and I would not hesitate to make that trip. He is even the older brother to one of my previous best guy friends... and he lives on the road where I grew up... so I know him well and he treats me like VIP when I go there. But, being that Dillon is small town... he is the only dentist there. Every time I have tried to make an appointment (which was twice, on days when I've had a bad toothache from this exact tooth, and didn't want to return to my current dentist), his office staff tells me he is unable to see me that day because he is booked & I give in and go see my current one because I couldn't wait. I just don't know what to do about it anymore. I guess I could make an appointment to see Kent (dentist in Dillon), for whenever he could fit me in and just wait to see what he says about it. I know that I can 100% trust that he will be honest with me and if he tells me I'm just being crazy... well then, I guess I will book an appointment with my psychiatrist. I have been dealing with it for a while now... with no plans to go back to my current dentist, so what would waiting a bit longer hurt? Or I guess I could get another opinion from a dentist in the area, who could possibly see me sooner. The only problem is that I fear another dentist will find something else wrong and want to do more work that could possibly be unnecessary. I hate feeling like I can't trust anyone with my dental health. I feel like they all either don't know what they are doing or will do excessive work for the mere dollars involved. Ahhh.... the one thing that does help? Alcohol! When I'm highly intoxicated, I don't even notice a problem. But since I want to live to see 31 & can't afford the drinks to get intoxicated 24 hours a day... that really isn't an option.

That turned out to be a very long rant and debacle that I did not intend to write. I guess I was throwing myself a pity party and I sincerely apologize. I promise you pretty pictures tomorrow for Wordless Wednesday to make up for it!


  1. That's great news you'll be able to live in your parents condo! It'll be fun to make it your own!

  2. glad your mom is doing better!! I'm sorry you've had some many problems at the dentist..I can't even imagine, I HATE the dentist with a passion!!! I haven't really been posting anything lately either..just don't really have anything going on! I think T and I might head down to MB sometime soon, so if we do we will have to get together :) xo


Let me hear it.