08 March 2011

Top 2 Tuesday: Relationship Lessons


2 Things I've Learned About Relationships

NUMBER ONE

You can NOT have love or a healthy relationship without trust. I cannot stress this enough... a relationship will never work without trust.... ever. My daddy tried to explain this to me at the fresh age of 16 but... of course... I was having none of it. What did he know anyway? Apparently... everything.

The first step to achieving trust from your partner is actually something you have to accomplish within you. You have to love you first and foremost. I know that is so cliche but it is also very true. If you aren't secure enough within yourself... you will constantly compare yourself to others and question if your man wants to be with someone else or is spending time with someone else... etc. That is a horrible way to live. And, it isn't very attractive either. The majority of people get jealous about their significant other because they are insecure. If you weren't, you wouldn't think that way. You would tell yourself that there is no way he wants someone else and if he does... well... to hell with him because you deserve better than that.

On the flip side, if you have a crazy/possessive/controlling/jealous man... you guessed it... it is probably because he is insecure himself. He needs to get some balls and grow up. You don't need to be constantly accused of being deceitful and you don't need to give him a minute by minute rundown of your day... you just don't need that stress in your life. No relationship can survive that type of stress and tension... no matter how much you want to make it work.

I didn't realize this until I went to a party at a bar (that I previously frequented often) with my boyfriend at the time and the bartender said hello... I said hello back... the bf starts questioning how I know him and telling me that I must be lying and so the story unfolds... I ended up telling the bf to take me to my car because I had heard enough of his nonsense. When I got to his house, I started putting any clothes I had over there in a trash bag to take with me and this crazy dude takes out the light bulb in the closet so I can't see to grab my clothes. I said OK... I will come back tomorrow with my father and get them and started walking to my car. He proceeded to dump the clothes in the bag off his third floor balcony in the pouring down rain... in his boxers. You don't want that mess in your life. Trust me.

NUMBER TWO

This one is tough... possibly the toughest of them all.... (it was for me)... but just because two people love each other does not mean that it is enough. I hate when people say that... all you need is love... love is always enough... unfortunately, that is not always the case.

Life isn't as simple as we want it to be... and it is certainly not always rainbows and butterflies. Things get in the way... your job, your friends, your family, your beliefs, your goals... life gets in the way. You have to be sure that you and your partner want the same things out of life... because if you don't... what seems so perfect with glitter and gumdrops could easily turn sour with pee pee and poo poo.

Like Jagged Edge said... "sometimes what may be the best thing for you to do is the hardest thing for you to do. and that's real... 'cause I know that I love you. I know how I feel about you. But... I also know that don't make everything alright... and for that reason.... I gotta say goodbye."

<3333333

4 comments :

  1. love this. You are so right. I think alot of the time people have to learn the hard way and experience these things for themselves. I know I did!

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  2. Love the last half of this post... :/
    ughh..
    Have a good day Jen

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  3. love this post. definitely something for us single gals to keep in mind.

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  4. Amen sister, especially #2. It is basically what I just went through in my own (recently ended) relationship, so thank you for this post. I feel like you were writing this for me!! :) <3

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